May 25, 2014

To Andrew Clark: Let's talk puppy-fat, bro.

Dear Andrew,

May I call you Andy? Hey Andy - you truly are suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune these last few days, aren't you, brother? (See how I threw in that Shakespeare reference there? I did that because you're British. Now that we've bonded, I shall proceed.)

Yeah, make one snarky comment about a singer being a "chubby bundle of puppy-fat" in your opera review, and suddenly everybody says you're, like, this bad guy or something.

I know the real problem, Drew. (Can I also call you Drew? Thanks.) You're not "bad"; you just "lack perspective.

I'm here to give it to you.  Observe the following images carefully. Take notes.

THIS IS A CHUBBY BUNDLE OF PUPPY-FAT



THIS IS TARA ERRAUGHT


SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

There's no need to thank me, An. (Can I call you An?) Tell you what: the next time you're in Newport News, VA, you can buy me a pint at my local tavern and we'll have a couple of laughs.

You moron.

1 comment:

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